Saturday, May 12, 2012

From Here to Tihamaland: last days with my mom…


From Here to Tihamaland: last days with my mom…



(First posted at ranaocouncil.com)
I dreamed that I was back in Zahran Janoub. In the dream, I was having a lively conversation with one of my ER nurses but the environment was unfamiliar. I felt that it was outside the confine of the hospital which is not possible. Since it was my first night home; I ignored the dream as a mere extension of my imagination; a memory flashback. I was done with Saudi Arabia for good…
I had the front of my house renovated and turned the garage into an outpatient clinic. Because I had always been an employed Physician, adjusting to private practice was not easy. I had always treated patients for free when I am home. Not only did I feel uncomfortable asking them to pay, I didn’t even know how much to charge my patients for the variety of medical services that I rendered. The clinic’s income wasn’t enough with some of my patients unable to pay. They were poor Moslem migrants who escaped the war in Mindanao. There were times I had to dig into my own pocket to pay for the taxi for those seriously ill needing hospital cares. Some came back to me asking if I could bill their children out of the hospital. Others took medicines from my pharmacy promising to return the money but some never came back.
On June 12 of 2000, I got a call early in the evening from my sister-in-law. My eldest brother Khalid (living in Manila) had a heart attack. I rushed to the hospital but he was dead by the time I got there. When our father died at a very early age, Khalid sort of assumed the responsibility of being the head of the family. He was like a father to us adopting even his name when we entered school. His wife told me how in the morning, he asked her to bring him to their favorite restaurant. While taking breakfast, he was telling his wife how he was having a vision right there and there.
“I think, we are going to have an important family gathering,” he told her. “I see all of my relatives but strange, my dead uncles are there too.”
 At 5:00 in the morning, 13th of June, I flew with his corpse to Cagayan de Oro City Airport where his sons, my brothers and immediate relatives were waiting.
With education so expensive, the separation money I got from the Ministry of Health was fast running out
I tried building a practice in Marawi City, my hometown in the South of Philippines but similarly; I was not earning enough to support my family. Another elder brother, the same brother who financed my education volunteered to renovate the ground floor of his three stories building that houses his Madrasa School. If my practice succeeds even partly I mean just enough to keep my children in college; I would have stayed in Marawi City for good.
My coming home to Marawi however maybe even for my unintentional departure from Saudi Arabia may have been destined for my mother.
Strange, few months before I left Saudi Arabia, I was having vision of my mother being sick and I was there taking care of her. I saw the vision in my moments of solitudes, sometimes while I was driving. I realized my mother is not getting younger but she had always been a symbol of health. Barely a month after I opened the clinic, she had a stroke. I was in Manila to purchase important supplies. I have to rush back to Marawi City. She was completely paralyzed, unable to speak and after two days, she was even unable to move a finger. As if we built the clinic for her, my elder brother, his wife and I took care of her 24/7. Close relatives hang around to help but after 3 weeks, only immediate family members remained.
I slept on the floor every night by her side and although she was in coma, I am sure she knew I was there. I administered her medicines, fed her through a feeding tube and every morning, we bath her and dress her bed sores. I would sit by her side alone and talk to her in silence. Sometimes I would say, “Mother, why do you have to get sick at a time when I am poor,” and I would giggle silently. I used to send her money while I was in Saudi Arabia but she never seemed to need anything in her later years living with my brothers. She built a house with the money I sent her during my first few years in Saudi Arabia. She rented it out so she could have her monthly allowance of her own. She would sometimes ask what will she do with the money we gave her and I used to say…give it away. My needy relatives usually approached her in their time of need. With my little earning from the clinic, I would beat my brothers into buying her meds and other supplies that she needs. I would hold and caress her hands and say, “Sorry mom, you have to be like this when I am broke” but I knew that holding her hands is probably better than all the money in the world for her and for me. I had been away most of the past 32 years. Sleeping on the floor while she lay on the bed was the greatest moment I had with my mother except maybe in those early years when I sat by her side well after midnight. I used to watch her finish the last few square feet (in spite of the sputtering kerosene lamp) of the floor mat (reeds/jutte) that she used to weave. During market days, I would walk around vending the mat I carry on my head. Except for rare occasions, I would come home with the price money of the mat I sold. The moment I will never forget of my mom however was when she broke into tears the day I told her I am going to Manila for college. The memory never ceases to bring tears to my eyes so here we are, 32 years later holding and caressing her cold unmoving hands.
It was during one of those calls from my cousins that they offered me to try my luck in Kuwait. They often called to inquire about their aunt, my mom. They sent some money as well for her. They volunteered to send me a visa and pay for all of my expenses including a roundtrip ticket. Three months after my mom slipped into a coma and after my elder brother concurred, we concluded that the clinic is not working. Just when we thought that my mother is unaware of what is going on; she stirred and uttered some noise the day I said goodbye again. “I have family to take care of mom,” I said and left. It was the worst day of my life. My mother was lying there more dead than alive, we closed the clinic and my family is far and away but Kuwait offered a glimmer of hope.
My family was very excited when I arrived in Manila. I told them, I closed the clinic in Marawi City and I am not going back. I am in fact going to Kuwait. I immediately worked on my papers. Five days later, I received a call from my brother. Mother passed away. Since dead are buried immediately in Islam, I saw no need of coming home that will take me at least a day. I have always preferred to keep the last memory of my mother while still alive although barely on the day I said my last goodbye.
Two weeks later, I called the Kuwait embassy to inquire about my visa. The employee at the embassy was disinterested until I told her that I am a guest of the Philippine ambassador to Kuwait. With the change in the tone of her voice, I could almost see her stirred into action I was politely told that my visa needs no stamping at the embassy. The paper I received from Kuwait is my copy of the visa that will be stamped at the Airport. The ambassador then was a very close friend of my cousins whom I later found out was a member of the Ranao Council Inc., a civic professional organization that I co-founded many years back (ranaocouncil.com). He volunteered to facilitate my visa.
Before I left for Kuwait, I wrote a letter to the Minister of health of Saudi Arabia. Three weeks after I arrived in Kuwait, my wife called me that she received the reply. I could return to Saudi Arabia. I flew back to Manila. Three days later, my cousin called. One of the hospitals in Kuwait called for my interview but I was already home in Manila. Although I didn’t find a job in Kuwait, I surely did have a good time. My cousins brought me (either with the ambassador or the general consul) to the best places in town. They would leave me at the shopping mall along the Gulf Sea and pass the afternoon sun sitting on benches along the sea. I would walk along the dock by the “Shark Mall” and watch big and small yachts come and go maneuvering at the narrow entrance to the yacht port. In the late afternoon, I would walk along the ramp built towards the sea for strollers and watch water jet skiers do acrobatics. It was a breather in the midst of my crisis. Sometimes, I would walk to the fish port and watch fishing boats come and go at the dock while vendors bid for their catch. In the early morning of Fridays, we would jog along the sea shore. I had plenty of time to reminisce and search for answers. When my wife called that a letter arrived from the Ministry of Health of Saudi Arabia, I thought my prayers were answered. I was wrong.
A last minute twist at the Saudi Recruiting Office (SRO)…again for some strange reason denied my return to the Ministry of Health of Saudi Arabia. I was back to zero.
Four years on…I was broke. Most painful of all, I was psychologically losing my sense of dignity. To keep two of my children still in college enrolled, I borrowed money from relatives and friends in USA. My wife sold most of her jewelries. I sold my car and other properties as well. I began to accept my fate.
Strange, every time I gave up all hopes of ever returning to Saudi Arabia, I will dream of being back in Zahran Janoub and see people I knew in the dream. In one dream, I crossed a bridge over the ocean to Zahran Janoub where old friends are cheerfully waiting. Stranger still, Zahran Janoub is not a place in my list of choices nor am I trying to go back to the town. It is completely out of my mind.
I focused my attention on running the clinic when another very peculiar thing happened. After 16 years, my wife got pregnant. Months earlier, my children were teasing their mom and me. They missed having a baby around the house. Nader is no longer a baby they said but I laughed it off. “Your mom and I are too old for that now,” I replied with a giggle. While I did the pregnancy test, my wife was busy with something else not expecting that it will turn out the way it did. My children were so thrilled; their excitement eclipsed ours. They picked up the phone…fished out the mobiles from their handbags and started dialing their friends. They even sent text messages to my relatives in Marawi City.
On the day my wife delivered, my sister-in-law text back suggesting that we call her “NISHREEN” and we did meaning a little flower. She knew that all of our names begin with a letter “N”.  The joy was indescribable and in spite of our financial difficulties, we were all thrilled beyond words.  Nishreen is not only our angel of joy…she is our angel of luck.
            I scanned the daily classified ads. I went to recruiting agencies. A recruiter for King Khalid Hospital in Najran was very surprised when he learned that I was in Zahran Janoub for 20 years. King Khalid Hospital was one of our referral centers where I used to bring some of our seriously ill patients. He assured me but after two weeks, I called the agency. They recruited only female staffs…another strange twist.

            “Several people called,” my wife said as I walked through the door. “They were asking for your mobile number.”
I just arrived for an errand from the mall.
            “Who are they?” I asked, “Did they tell you why?”
            “Old friends and they didn’t say why.” she replied simply. She gave me the names of old acquaintances from Saudi Arabia who had likewise long left the kingdom. I wondered why.
            Less than an hour later, my mobile phone rang. The call was from Sayed Manna, manager/owner of the only private clinic in Dhahran Janoub. It is owned by the Manna brothers but Sayed is sitting as the manager. After exchange of pleasantries, he asked, “I heard that you want to come back, is it true?”
            I said, “Yes.”
            I was barely listening as he read the conditions of my contract and how much salary he will give me. I just keep on saying yes and ok then he said, “Write this number and call him right now. There is a visa for you.” My wife was stunned when I told her who called and why.
            I called the number. It’s Al Jazira recruiting agency and on the other end of the line was Sayed Qahtani, the Saudi owner of the agency married to a Filipina and yes, there is a visa for me. He told me to come Monday since the following day is a weekend.
            Indeed, the ways of God are mysterious; His wonders to perform in more ways than one. Nishreen was 9 months old when I left.
            Here I come Riyadh…I murmured in silence. The overnight stay at the Riyadh Airport was too familiar to be discomforting. Actually, I missed it. The flight to Abha has not changed either, five in the wee hour of the morning. I had mixed feeling coming back. I don’t know how will I respond to people’s queries where I have been or why did I come back. I tried to sleep during the 1 hour and 15 minutes flight but apprehensions keep my adrenaline high.
            As the jetliner approached the southwest frontiers of Saudi Arabia…the sun was rising. From the scattered clouds towards the rising sun, a soft golden glow radiates from its rims.  It’s a new day…




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